Chapter 26 Final words

That’s all I am going to tell about. I could probably tell you what I did after I went home, and how I got sick and all, and what school I’m supposed to go to next fall, after I got out of here, but I don’t feel like it. I really don’t. hat stuff doesn’t interest me too much right now. D.B. isn’t as bad as the rest of them, but he keeps asking me a lot of questions, too. I don’t know what the hell to say if you want to know the truth. I don’t know what I think about it. I’m sorry I told so many people about it. About all I know is, I sort of miss everyone I told about it. I think I even miss that goddam Maurice. Its funny. don’t ever tell anyone. If you do, you start missing everybody.

Carrousel

We were on the way to the carrousel. We kept getting closer and closer to the carrousel and you could start to hear that nutty music it always plays. It was playing ’Oh, Marie!’ it played that same song about fifty years ago when I was a little kid. that’s the one thing about carrousels, they always play the same songs. When she was a tiny little kid, and Allie and D.B. and I used to go the park with her, she was mad about the carrousel. You couldn’t get her off the goddam thing. There were a few kids riding on it, mostly very little kids. I went up and bought her a ticket. She was looking at me sort of funny. You could tell she wasn’t too sore at me anymore. I went and sat down on the bench, and she went and got on the carrousel. She walked around it. I mean she walked once all the way around it. I watch her go around and around. All of a sudden she gave me a kiss. She reached in my coat pocket and took out my red hunting hat put it on my head. She go back on the horse. She waved to me and I waved back. Boy, I began to rain like a bastard. I got pretty soaked. I felt so damn happy all of a sudden, the way old Phoebe kept going around and around. I don’t know why. It was just that she looked so damn nice. I wish you could have been there.

Coming out of school

I finally saw her. I saw her through the glass part of the door. The reason I saw her, she had on my crazy hunting hat on- you could see that hat about ten miles away. When I got closer , I saw it was my old suitcase, the one thing I used to use when I was at Whooton. I couldn’t figure out what the hell she was doing with it. She was out of breath from that crazy suitcase. She told me she had clothes in it and that she was coming with me. I almost fell over when she said that. I got sort of dizzy and I thought I was going to pass out again. I told her to shut up. I didn’t mean to tell her to shut up, but I thought I was going to pass out again. I took her bag off her. I was almost set to hit her. I thought I was going to smack her for a second. I really did.

Phoebe's School

When I got there, it felt funny. I wasn’t sure I’d remember what it was like inside, but I did. It was exactly the same when I was there. They had the same big yard, with those cages around the light bulbs so they wouldn’t break. They had those same white circles painted all over the floor, for games and stuff. And those same old basketball rings without any nets- just the backboards and the rings. Nobody was around, probably because it was recess. I was still sweating, but not so bad anymore. Her school was practically right near the museum, and she had to pass it on her way home from lunch anyway, so I knew she could meet me alright. Then I started walking up the stairs to the principles office. While I was walking up the stairs, all of a sudden I thought I was going to puke again. I sat down for a second, and then I felt better. I saw something that drove me crazy. Somebody’d written ‘fuck you’ on the wall. I rubbed it out. Then went to the principles office.

Allie

I kept walking up fifth avenue. Then all of a sudden, something very spooky started happening. Every time I came to the end of a block and stepped off the curb, I had this feeling that I’d never get to the other side of the street. I started sweating like a bastard. Every time I’d get to the en of the block I’d make believe I was talking to my brother Allie. Then I sat down on this bench. What I decided was I’d never go home again and never go away to another school again. I decided to go home just to see old Phoebe and sort of say good-by to her and all. I ran like a madman and went into this stationary store and bought a pad and pencil. I figured I’d write her a note telling her where to meet me so I could say good-by to her and give her back her Christmas dough. I’d take the not and give to somebody in the principles office.

Chapter 25 Christmas

It was Monday and all, and pretty near Christmas, and all the stores were open. It was pretty Christmassy all of a sudden. A million little kids were downtown with their mothers, getting on and off buses and coming in and out of stores. I wished old Phoebe was around. She’s not little enough anymore to go stark staring mad in the toy department, but she enjoys horsing around and looking at the people. The Christmas before last I took her downtown shopping with me. We had a helluva time. Old Phoebe tried on about twenty pairs of high storm shoes. We finally bought a pair of moccasins and charged them.

Strange Antics

After that chat with Mr Antolini we fixed up the couch. I went into the bathroom and got undressed and all. I couldn’t brush my teeth because I didn’t have a toothbrush with me. I didn’t have any pyjamas either and Mr Antolini forgot to lend me some. I got in bed with my shorts on. Then something happened. I woke up. I felt something on my head, some guys hand. It was Mr Antolini. What he was doing was, he was sitting on the floor right next to the couch, in the dark and all, and he was sort of patting me on the goddam head. Boy, I’ll bet I jumped a thousand feet. I was nervous as hell. I grab my things and got right the hell out of there. I was shaking like a madman. I was sweating too. When something perverty like that happens, I start sweating like a bastard. That kind of stuff’s happened to me about twenty times since I was a kid. I can’t stand it.