Death

After a while, just to get my mind off getting pneumonia and all, I took out my dough and tried to count it in the lousy light from the street lamp. All I had was three singles and five quarters and a nickel left. I spent a fortune since I left Pencey. I went own to the lagoon and sort of skipped the quarters and the nickel across it, where it wasn’t frozen. I guess I thought it would take my mind off getting pneumonia and dying. It didn’t though. I started think how old Phoebe would feel if I got pneumonia and died. It was a childish way to think, but I couldn’t stop myself. I mean she’s quite fond of me. She really is. I couldn’t get that off my mind so I decided I’d better sneak home and see her, in case I died an all. So I got the hell out of the park, and went home. I walked all the way. It wasn’t too far, and I wasn’t tired or even drunk any more. It was just very cold and nobody around anywhere.

Central Park

I’ve lived in New York all my life, and I know Central Park like the back of my hand, because I used to roller-skate there all the time and ride my bike when I was a kid, but I had the most terrific trouble finding that lagoon that night. I knew right where it was, it was right near Central Park and all. I finally found it. Where it was, it was partly frozen and partly not frozen. I didn’t see a single duck. I walked around the whole goddam lake. I thought maybe if they weren’t around, they’d be asleep or something, near the edge of the water, near the grass and all. that’s how I nearly fell in. But I couldn’t find any. Finally I sat down on this bench. I was shivering like a bastard. The back of my hair, even though I had my hunting hat on, was sort of full of little hunks of ice. That worried me. I thought I’d get pneumonia and die.

Chapter 20 Drunk

I gave old Sally Hayes a buzz. I had to dial about twenty numbers before I got the right one. Boy, was I blind. I wished to god I hadn’t even phoned her. When I’m drunk, I’m a madman. I stayed in the goddam phone booth for quite a while. I kept holding onto the phone, sort of, so I wouldn’t pass out. I wasn’t feeling to marvellous, to tell you the truth. I didn’t feel too drunk any more when I went outside, but it was getting very cold out again, and my teeth started chattering like hell. I didn’t know where to go. So what I did, I started walking over to the park. Then something terrible happened just as I got in the park. I dropped old Phoebe’s record. It broke into about fifty pieces. I took the pieces out of the envelope and put them in my coat pocket. They weren’t any good for anything, but I didn’t feel like just throwing them away. Then I went in the park. Boy, was it dark.

Carl luce

He ordered a dry Martini. He told the bartender to make it very dry, and no olive. I bored him a lot. I really did. He amused me, though. He was one of those guys that sort of amuse me a lot. When we were at Whooton, he’d make you describe the most personal stuff that happened to you, but if you asked him about himself he got sore. These intellectual guys don’t like to have an intellectual conversation with you unless they’re running the whole thing. I can never get really sexy- I mean really sexy- with a girl I don’t like a lot. I mean I have to like her a lot. Boy, it really screws up my sex life something awful. My sex life stinks. Old Luce he was strictly a pain in the ass, but he certainly had a good vocabulary. He had the largest vocabulary of any boy at Whooton when I was there. They gave us a test.

Chapter 19 sex

The Wicker bar is this sort of swanky hotel, the Seton Hotel. They used to have these two French babes, Tina and Janine. One of the played the piano and one sang. It was pretty early when I got there. I sat down at the bar, I had a couple of scotch and sodas before old Luce even showed up. Finally old Luce showed up. Old Luce. What a guy. He was supposed to be my student adviser when I was a Whooton. The only think he ever did though, was give sex talks and all. He know quite a lot about sex, especially perverts and all. And flits and Lesbians.

Army

After the movie was over, I started walking down to the Wicker Bar, where I was supposed to meet old Carl Luce, and while I walked I sort of thought about war and all. My brother D.B. was in the army for four goddam years. He was in the war to- but I really think he hated the army worse than the war. He didn’t get wounded or anything and he didn’t have to shoot anybody. He once told Allie and I that if he’d had to shoot anybody, he wouldn’t’ve known which direction to shoot in. I remember Allie once asked him wasn’t it sort of good that he was in the war because he was a writer and it gave him a lot to write and all. He made Allie go get his baseball mitt and then he asked him who was the best war poet. Rupert Brooke or Emily Dickinson. Allie said Emily Dickson. I don’t read much poetry.

Chapter 18 Jane and Carl

I thought I’d give old Jane a buzz and she if she was home yet. I never danced with her the whole time I knew her. I saw her dance though once. She looked like a very good dancer. It’s a funny thing about girls. Every time you mention some guy’s strictly a bastard- very mean, or very conceited and all- and when you mention it to the girl, she’ll tell you he has an inferiority complex. Girls, you never know what they are going to think. I gave old Jane a buzz, but her phone didn’t answer, so I had to hang up. I only had three people in. Jane, Mr Antolini and my fathers office number. So what I didn’t I finally gave old Carl Luce a call. He graduated from Whooton after I left. I think he was pretty surprise to hear from me. I once called him a fat-assed phoney.